Home!!!

The Last One!

I am just on for a few minutes, because I will see you in just a few days. I can't believe this day si here. I am emailing you for the last time as a missionary. I don't have any last instructions for you that I know of. I didn't leave all my clothes. Some of them have sentimental value. Also, I figured I have 100 pounds, I might as well fill it. Also I have lots of books. Ugh. We'll see though. I might go crazy when I try to lift my suitcase and just dump it out and leave it. 

Well, I'm happy and sad. I"m happy because I get to see you soon, and sad because I won't see anyone here for a lonnnnnnng time. It all feels unreal. BUt I will REALLY hug you on Wednesday night. 

Love you sooo much. I know this is His work, and I'm not finished. :) Just transferring to a new area :) Be patient with me as I learn english, and learn how to use appliances and cars, and also have a device ready so I can skype people who speak tagalog. I have some work to do on the social media.... contact all the people I love! 

But of course. I just want to spend time with you. I miss you so much. Love you! 

Sorry for the weird email. It's just weird today. I'm emailing in the office, getting ready for my exit interview with President Deyro. Bye bye! Love you!!!!

--

Sister Smith

The time is far spent

There is little remaining, but I'm not slowing down. Life is so good. I have some other emails to do, so just enjoy some pictures, and rejoice with me, because today I found out that my investigators in my last area (Alex and Laura) that were going to get married in April got married today! I also recently found out that someone I started teaching last October is planning to be baptized in August.  Trust His timing in your own pursuits as well, because He answers prayers. 

Love you all!

--

Sister Smith

I KNOW I KNOW I WILL SEE YOU SOON :) :) :) I'm counting and I know that makes it slower but I can't help it. 

I will also miss being on my mission. Kaylee Lofthouse is right. I'm already starting to feel that feeling like I'm useless. But I know there are still lots of good things I can do, and I can still learn and grow and study and be righteous even when I'm not a missionary anymore. But it's like part of me is really dying. 

I like that story about Bishop Hyde. I need to be better. Lately I just pray kneeling on my bed because a while ago I knelt on the floor then all of a sudden bug was on my leg and it freaked me out. Buut I have seen this week that lots of things have happened from my prayers so maybe that means they are getting more sincere. And i guess it might take a lifetime to get really good at praying

Yeah. I already am just trying to prepare my mind to not try to do too much when I get there. Because I don't need self created stress. 

I think it's just different circumstances in lots of ways. Like here it costs about 400 dollars for tuition at school, and there are lots of scholarships. And houses are cheap. And there is public transportaiopn and food is also cheaper. So I think that you have to just realize that everyone's life is hard, and we just have different challenges. But this week I had a moment where I just couldn't take it. Two little girls were walking, like small little girls and their school is far. We asked them why they didnt' want to use an umbrella, because it was SO HOT. And they were so quiet and just said they didn't have any. So I said to use mine while we were walking together. But when we got to our appointment, I just couldn't help it, I asked the little girl if she wanted it and she just gave a shy little nod, and yeah, now I don't have an umbrella in the hottest rainiest season. But I won't die. It's not like I've gone through like 13 or something. Haha....I hope those little girls grow up and become members. 

Speaking of poverty, I will send you pictures of my shoes. I don't think they are functioning anymore, so I'm just wearing my crocs for now, but then my toes hurt. Who cares. It's just one week!! :)

I cry everytime I think of hugging you too. It's killing me. 

I love reading Tyler's emails! I didn't understand why you all made such a big deal about me, till I got his emails. I am so jealous. I wish I could just visit denmark!!!! it's beautiful!

It was my half birthday and 18 months last week. EW!

I have been eating lots of stuff. Because I will miss it. I'm trying to just focus on eating stuff I can't get at home. haha.

Okay, well I better email dad and tyler and cooper and everyone! 

LOVE YOU!!!!! see you soon! 

pictures of my shoes, and my mean girls face. Why did I do that? no wonder everyone thinks I'm rude. I'm not pretty haha. 

Hi dad! I'm excited to see you too! I'm going to miss having me out here too. AT least there is tyler. I will do my best to continue growing and giving you exciting news and serving the Lord even when I'm home. I am still pretty focused. I can handle it. :) Yep, one week from now is my exit interview with President Deyro. I can't believe it. I have some goals to just learn to be quieter. I don't know I guess sometimes I feel like I try to fix problems with words, when sometimes I should just be quiet. 

Also I'd like to finish the BOM but I dont' think it will happen because I'm still in Mosiah. 

I'm proud of you for running, and sorry you had to eat crap. 

Hopefully we'll get a chance to speak together. Maybe they'll have you speak at my homecoming. 

That's cool that my ancestor named Logan. No wonder I love it so much. 

Well, I love you lots. I'm really happy. I know that there are lots of miracles. I haven't been a successful numbers missionary, but I think I've really had a change of heart, and there's no way to measure if people were affected by me or not, so I'll just assume I did lots of good :)

Love you!

Princess Petunia

Lots of fun

There's not as many things as rewarding or as fun or as difficult as a mission. I'm still learning so much, and also experiencing new things each day. I'm still making mistakes and errors with the language and culture which are sometimes confusing and embarrassing and even hurtful to others or myself. But I'm also to a point where I can love everyone. I feel His love all around me, even when sometimes I don't deserve it. 

I know we can all see miracles each day. Just look for them. Don't look for big things, just notice the times when things happened in an unexpected way. He's there!

This week we had lots of disappointments, with no investigators coming to church again, things like that. But we have some people, like Maridie, who although haven't come to church, are really progressing and seeking the truth. And that's what matters. All improvement and postive progression, no matter how small is still success.

We enjoyed some service this week. I like to just help with the small things sometimes. It makes everyone happier :)

I have felt humbled this week by seeing and hearing of other's situations and circumstances. We can always be grateful, more grateful.

I liked the talk "Eternal Families" by Henry B. Eyring this week. I'm not trunky :) Maybe just a little.

Love you all! 

--

Sister Smith

To Mom:

I literally can't wait. I'm happy, I'm still enjoying it, and I'm sad to leave, but I want my mom and dad! I can't believe it! It's been going by so fast! and so slow! Ugh. 

I'm working to not waste time, and I'm trying to be more relaxed and just enjoy the last. Yesterday this member was telling me something, then I couldn't understand him, and then he was mad, and then I couldn't speak tagalog right and offended him. Oh well. Move on. I'll apologize when I see him again. Sometimes we make mistakes. I'm grateful that I am still allowed to be in the process to perfection... haah.

I have so many letters from everyone on my mission. I've been trying to think of ways when I go home to organize all my journals and letters. Too much effort. That's so sweet about Adam. He's nice.

I'm really grateful for Pres Deyro. Last week I thought of some goals, and then I opened my email today from him and the suggestions were like the same as my goals. So there, I better do them.

I'm not too worried about clothes. I know shirts will still fit, and I'm excited for some of my clothes, I've really missed them. they will be like new when I get home. 

This week sis Claudia said you are posting countdowns. I laughed and said if I had facebook right now, I probably would too.

I hope I can come home and balance my life to accomplish everything! Just a little at a time I guess. 

It came from the store like that. I was so sad. 

Oh yeah, remind me to tell you when i get home all of the weird health beliefs. 

It's way sad, at fast food here, the food is the same price as at home when you convert it. But the employees get the equivalent of 8 bucks A DAY. That's one hour at home. 

Well, I have 10 minutes to do 10 emails, and find a talk I want to read. 

By the way, if you have any suggestions to make prayer more meaningful let me know.

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! I'm counting the hours. minutes. Seconds. I CAN'T WAIT TO HUG YOU!

To Dad:

I'm okay. just getting tired. But that's Satan, so I'm working to be as diligent and happy as I can be, although sometimes crap happens. Great missionary stories...nothing great. Just normal. People listened. Sometimes I feel like a failure, but I guess I just need to keep doing my best. I'm sorry stuff is so crappy with work. 

I'm excited for the temple. 

I can't remember round park. lets go when I get home.

I'm glad you ran a bit. 

Something I learned this week is that I don't have to try to be anyone's favorite...like I don't have to do everything to make everyone happy. I can just show love in little ways and be a nice person, and that's enough. I guess I was like stressing because I want ALL the members to love me, and that's not necessary. I need to focus on everyone else feeling loved. Of course I'm not like a weirdo, like attention seeker, but I just realized the importance of what I learned in the mtc...to focus outward and not think of yourself.

I also had an experience in language study that helped me remember that I have talents for teaching. Maybe i can do sped after all.

I'm not perfect, but I'm still striving. I love you! Can't wait to see you. 

The deeper the well, the more water that can be held

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-05-003-lift?lang=eng

I love this video! You should all watch it. I liked the honesty and reality of it. Not all service is easy. Sometimes it's not fast and sometimes it doesn't end. But just watch the video. 

I will keep this short and sweet. 

This week began with me buying some goya (like nutella) and when I got home, you can see from the picture that someone else got there first. haha. Oh well, I'm sure they enjoyed it more than I would have.

This week we had interviews with the mission president. I had realllllly missed president and sister deyro. It's sad that I won't see them for 3 weeks, and when I do, it will be the last time. I am so grateful for their wisdom and love, and I will be eternally grateful for them. Pres. said "I will come and visit you someday [in Utah] before I die." I look forward to that time. This week he talked to me about how each of our challenges in life digs us a deeper well. The deeper the well, the more water that  can be held. I've pondered this and one thought I had was that sometimes we see our challenges as things that take away from us. But in reality, it is digging us a deeper well- giving us more space. And it's up to us to fill it. That's where the choice comes in. We can either have a deep empty well, or we can be grateful for the space and become better. 

Our work this week was good! Through rain and pain we made it and saw miracles and felt His love. I don't have anything else to say, so here's some pictures and have a great week!!!

--

Sister Smith

To Mom:

I'm feeling kindof ready sometimes. LIke I love the mission, the work, the Philippines, but I don't like putting up with other people's issues.... gossip, disobedience, wasting time, etc. BUT I know when I go home that stuff will still be there. :) And my body is getting tired. But I'm not tired! I am working hard. 

I am worried about work and stuff like that. I think I would like to go earlier, like maybe the saturday before, because I feel like going to church before "the rush" really helped me the last two years. I met the bishop and a few members earlier, so it wasn't like them trying to meet everyone. I don't know. I just don't want to feel rushed in the adjustment back to logan, and I'd like to see some of my friends and our family before school starts. 

One time Brooke told me taht the most profound thing I ever said to her was that all people have special needs, and should be treated kindly.

I'm glad P Seitz will still be there when I get home! I was scared at first it would be new and they wouldn't know me when they released me./ 

It's so hard to get everything in. This week I'm scraping by with time only because they gave us extra time to do a survey and I"m a fast reader. 

I feel bad though. It's just so fast... one hour for all the research on lds.org, all the reading emails, sending statistics, writing emails, etc. :)

My flight plans suck :) But that's okay, I'm just excited to go home. Although I will get home at the equivalent of 1 pm here, so I won't be tired, but I will be so jetlagged the next days, and I willhave to force myself to sleep, or I will just talk all your ears off which you probably don't care. Lets stay in SLC and go to the Salt lake temple in the morning and meet P Seitz to release me. and then I need to buy pants, because I don't know if any will fit.And I'm done with skirts :)

Give my regards to LIndsey and Parker if their wedding is this week. Also find out if Ashley Hill will have any reception or anything that I could make it to. Her emails have been really sweet.

I'm a bad missionary... I totally stalked your facebook yesterday. Hey, the phone wasn't in my hands, Sister Claudia just happened to be looking at the pictures you were posting ;) So I saw at Heber, and Tyler's misson. :) Sister Claudia said you seem so cool and she really wants to be friends with you. She is really cool too.  I told her we would skype her when I get home and she seemed excited. She's like "your mom has so many talents, and she's so healthy and cute!" 

I've been doing the My Plan to prepare to go home. It's really helpful. I'm glad they have that now, so I can set goals about how I will study the scriptures, stayactive, date, study, etc. 

Well, I love you! I can't wait either. It's so soon and so far!!! But I know once I'm on the plane it will hit me. so I'm enjoying it now! :)

Bye! gotta email dad :)

p.s. My SD card shows the pics on my camera, but not on the computer. does that mean it has a virus or something? Grr. Oh well. Don't care. 

To Dad:

DADDy.
I'm really sorry, I combined your email last week, but forgot to add you. 

I'm glad you got to see some friends and stuff. That's always fun. I'm excited to see friends and family. It's only been 18 months, but then again there's people like Keaton and the other guys in my grade who I haven't seen for more than 3 years. I can't believe that. Good luck with work. Sorry cooper is justl ike that :)

Take mom on dates. I like what E . Uchtdorf said to surprise your wife with things that make her happy :)

I'm excited for you to meet with Elder Snow. He is the one who did the talk about humility right? Wow...famous :) 

I wonder what Pres deyro said to Pres seitz ;) I'm glad I have a good relationship with my Mission Pres- that he can trust me and considers me a friend. I feel like he's my fellow disciple, and not a commander. I think we should just stay in Salt Lake and have him release me in the morning. Then if we want to do stuff in Salt Lake, it's all finished and also, I bet he's sad that he is getting released, and also he set me apart so I'd like him to release me. But if it doesn't work out, of course I love pres basset too 

I'm learning a lot. I took your words and gave her a loud pep talk about punching satan in the face last night. AFterwards, we were laughing hard. Then, the other sisters in the apartment thought we were yelling at each other and crying . it was funny. I think she got the message too. so that's good.

I feel like I"m a successful missionary. Sometimes it's hard, but I've seen a lot of experiences on my mission. President Deyro said my msision has been really hard because I'm being prepared for a higher calling. so we'll see about that. 

Oh yeah, you asked about my plan a while ago, and I'm doing it now. It's really helpful! I've been learning and reflecting and setting goals. IT's good. 

I love you so much. I love your little words at the end of each letter. I wish I wrote them down each week and did them more. But anyway, see you soon.

I miss you, and can't wait to hug you. 

It smells like the fourth of july

that's all. It doesn't look like it. But we walked down the street and I smelled some grass and barbecue stuff and hot summer air... Later this afternoon we'll hopefully have a thunderstorm so I can close my eyes and pretend it's fireworks :)

Miracles of the week...

One day we planned to go to sister Ruby. She's so cute. I was thinking during Personal Study that we really need to teach her husband. But he is always gone or busy. I just kindof pondered and prayed in my heart. Later that morning we went to her..... her husband was home! Even though he was supposed to be working, he had gotten a little sick and stayed home. Hallelujah!

Number 2. I saw our 102 year old friend smoking again. I'm not sure if that's a miracle. But I'm glad she is alive!

Number 3. 2 of the investigators that I taught in Sta Barbara (RR and tatay Celinong) are baptized! I planted and fertilized for 5 months, and finally the harvest came. Yippee!

Number 4. Our power was out one morning. Sometimes if it's like that, it's for the whole day. But I was like pleasssse. Because I had milk in the fridge. and it came on right away!

Number 5. TWICE this week we planned to find some less active members. and TWICE I forgot to bring the list. One time, we just taught some random older ladies that we found after going down a mysterious path that I felt like turning on even though my comp's stomach was killing her... and anyway a lady walked in on the lesson, and she's one of the members on the list who hasn't even seen missionaries for probably 25 years. The second time we also found  a less active. That's not coincedence, Heavenly Father plans for my forgetfulness :)

Number 6. We are teaching this old man named Pedro. He's the cutest. Sooo sweet. BUT he doesn't understand much Tagalog. yet, he managed to make it to the church, all by himself yesterday, and he was even there an hour early ;) But how cool. He's almost 79 years old!

That's just  a taste of the life here. I love it. I see so many miracles. And most of them come out of our pain and adversity. As I studied in the NT about Gethsemane earlier, I thought of how many of the hardest things, the guiltiest or saddest or most disappointed or rejected or tired or whatever crappy times we have often lead to the sweetest, lightest, most hopeful mornings filled with His love. Just like Gethsemane, it may close in darkness, but when our eyes are opened spiritually again, whether by repentance/forgiveness, or a blessing or resolution, just like the resurrection we are given peace. 

And with that, peace out everyone. I will just keep swimming (literally it's been raining so hard) and you should too! 

And watch out for bees. I never knew, but they will still sting you even if it's dark outside. I learned that from being stabbed in the throat. 

Enjoy this and the next 3 or 4 emails because that's all youre gonna get. haa!

Pics:

One is me with the first dr pepper I've SEEN in 17.5 months. 

One is my weird shake I got.

Happy 4th of july chicken.

pretty fields. 

me and my grandbaby.

--

Sister Smith

To Mom and Dad:

I can't believe it. I'm so excited sometimes. I was all irked this week because I found out that some of the missions are on earlier tracks. Like one sister, she entered the mtc 2 or 3 weeks after me, and their transfer schedule puts her going home almost 3 weeks before me. My mission is a month longer! But I know it's not that important, and that God's timing is what matters, I am just REALLY excited to see my mom. and dad. and cooper. and stuff. like if I sing along to taylor swift on accident I won't feel like a sinner. And I was really hoping I'd at least be there for the 24th of July.. hopefully I can at least do some fun summer activities. 

I used to hate mayo but this week I ate chicken salad sandwiches twice and the third day a cucumber sandwich and it's so nice. I'm cutting down on rice when I have a choice. Its funny because I just got your letter today and you wrote about what laci said about rice and I was like yep. that's the problem.

I"m so grateful for my childhood and our FHEs and that you let us teach although sometimes I'm sure my lessons were way weird and boring. 

I had a weird dream. I had prayed for little by little to understand more fully my testimony. Then that night I dreamed that I saw a video, and I was 10 years old in the video, sitting at a table with Henry B Eyring, and uncle Jason. and I just bore this simple and powerful testimony to them, and I woke up and I was like amazed at my 10 year old self who wasn't even real, but it just reminded me that I have been lucky to know the truth since I was little and that I need to keep my childlike conviction. Especially about the family, which Satan attacks so much (I think Jason was there because I saw him overcome that problem? Idk)

Anyway I'm a weirdo. I visited the lady in our ward who is half filipina and half american. She's from america so her english is so REAL. haha. It's fun, although I felt dumb because my english was awkward.

I'm glad daddy is recovering. I hope all is healed by the time I"m back! The weather has made work hard, but I don't care. It's fun :) 

I'm happy although not everything is perfect! I read all your letters to me from my whole mission (well most of them) and I laughed and bawled because I understood a lot more from this point. 

I'm jealous you are all up north and I'm excited to see everyone soon. Tyler didn't email him but I'll try to get a few words in to him and cooper.

Wellllllllllll bye. I love you! I have flight plans, so I will make sure you get them. 

mahal ko kayo!

Hello Hello

Hi everyone! I am just sending you an email to tell you that WE ARE LOVED. 

This week I learned so much. After 17 months in the mission, there's still a billion things to learn and master before I finish. But it's lots of fun. I feel like it's kindof like the doctorate or research part of the mission. Where I can apply myself freely but also feel like there's so many new experiences. 

We watched the District this week for Sis. A's training. I cried! I love missions. 

This week we were talking to a dad. His name is Bobby. He has refused to listen to the missionaries for like 6 months. His two children became members, but He didn't want to listen. Then, for like the 4th time since I've been here, I was like "hey you really should listen to us, even just once." and he said OKAY. He even showed up for the appointment, and after it was over, he said he wanted to keep learning and CHANGE. I am glad I pushed him a little. Because he really wants to fix things. He had a really bad family problem, but he is learning that Christ's Atonement happened for him. It's awesome when people finally let the Master Physician in. His pain can all leave if he accepts the gospel. Pray for Bobby!

I have had some great experiences lately studying the New Testament. Sometimes I think of what it would feel like to be there by the side of Jesus Christ. But I do feel that. As His missionary, I experience His voice, His power, and His love daily, even with my imperfections. I have become one of His investigators. And His patience and love with me gives me the strength to also strengthen those areound me. 

I talked in church yesterday about how although life is hard, the gospel isn't. I said that in my opionion, God's life is probably kindof challenging at times. But it doesn't get Him down, because His work and His glory is His focus. I talked about how by helping God with His work and glory, we can experience the same joy as Him. I focused on family history, missionary work, and temple work. I shared about my great grandmother's journey to the temple as a young girl. It just hit me how if we resist doing God's work, because we are too busy or tired or lazy, we don't experience His glory. He sent us to earth so that He could fulfill His purpose, and while we are on this earth, we can choose whether or not to participate. 

I love you all. Life is so great, and I am changing because of the gospel. It doesn't require a lot of difficult things, because all that is required is willingness, then He does the hard work. 

Have a great week! 

-- 

Sister Smith

To Mom: 

I got the email. It's fine. I look ugly. but other than me I think it's great! and it will work fine, because I dont' even care about giving people cards, they will just cry if I don't. 

I would love to do that race if I can run by then :) jk! let's do it.

I want to speak tagalog to jennylyn!

I would love to do anything when I get home, especially if it's with you!

My companion is changing so much. She's always thanking me for teaching her and she told me that she has learned to be postive from me and not speak or think negatively about others. Last week I explained to her that those have been some of my biggest goals to change on my mission so what a compliment. I am finally becoming like Great grandma howell. Grandma howell also put that in my most recent letter from her. i feel lke I have a far ways to go, but what motivation that I am starting to be identified as positive, cheerful, and kind. not negative and gossipy.

I bought like $50 worth of little things. I got like a bunch of earrings that were way cheap because I thought of all my girl cousins but then I got home and was like what a bout the bo;ys? but we'll see. it is kindof just a bunch of little souvenir stuff that reminds me of here, so I will see. I thought of getting all of you a pair of flipflops because they are cheap here and that would be something you could use, but it would remind you of me and my mission. . we'll see. 

 I want to see this mr, chris stuff.

Okay well I hope dad is good. Show him the attachment I forgot to put on his email. 

LOV EYOU SOOO MUCH. I don't really care who comes to the airport by the way. It seemed like a big deal before and now I don't care, as long as I go home. Hahhaa. 

Miss you. See you in just over a month. I hope it goes by fast and slow!!

OH yeah, someone in our sunday school argued for like 20 minutes yesterday about how we should n't say swimming isn't okay on sunday because fish have to swim to stay alive. ugh. I hate that stuff.

To Dad:

Hey dad. I hope you're doing well. I fasted and prayed and worried a little this week for you. But I"m glad you're alive. 

Grabe I can't believe Tyler is leaving. Time is going by pretty fast. I just have 5 weeks... and then I fly too!

Jeffrey R Holland says the mission IS real life, that this is as real as life is gonna get. I think that is true. When else will I get to devote all my time to Him? Never. 

So I'm sad that I will be coming back to fake life. haha. Because work and school and stuff isn't all eternal. But finding my eternal companion is. ARe you workng on that? haahah

I love you so much. I haven't emailed everyone else yet. Oh yeah, Two of my long time investigators in Sta Barbara are getting baptized, well one already did. I think I might be the best planter in the mission. I have like the lowest baptisms, but I have heard of like maybe 20 baptisms from people I taught or started along the way. It's so awesome! I don't even care that I wasn't there to see it!

Well, Love ya! I like this quote, "Go where you're needed. Do what you can." Louise Y. Robinson.